I hate Marvel Snap and so does my toilet seat

^Stay tuned for our Marvel Snap review video!

Marvel Snap is better than it has any right to be. It certainly is too good for the likes of me: a strictly single-player person who much prefers a cosy PlayStation exclusive with exploration and narrative and not a single other human being getting involved to ruin everything. But I couldn’t stay away, could I? Because you lot wouldn’t stop going on about it. And now I have a permanent imprint of my toilet seat on my arse and legs. This is your fault, every single one of you.

I love the Fantastic Four, you rotters.

Curse you, and it, for its delectable sound design, its beautiful animations, its ultra-compelling just-one-more-match battle and progression systems that get its hooks deep into your soul, firing every nerve in your pleasure centres along the way.

Stats are a bit mince for Spider-Man tbh.

Curse you, and it, for its excellent and truly free-to-play (for now) business model, which eschews any pay-to-win cynicism in favour of a design which strictly only accepts coin for cosmetic upgrades, and keeps the playing field level for those of us who have zero desire to chuck £8.99 at a handful of Dr. Doom Dollars or whatever the hell it is.

Curse you, and it, for bringing this absolute delight to my attention, which I’m sure would be a gateway into all sorts of card-based pish were it not for the fact that my attention span is fleeting and I definitely won’t be playing it in three weeks.

I’ve made peace with the fact that I’ll never unlock Venom in that time, but regardless, well done to all involved.